


A Study in Letting Go

by rustling_pages



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 'His Last Vow', Angst, Hypothetical, M/M, Sherlock's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 05:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustling_pages/pseuds/rustling_pages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'You can see it exactly, how it would go.'</p><p>About to board that plane, Sherlock wonders about an alternate goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Study in Letting Go

You can see it exactly, how it would go.

 

You can see yourself memorizing his face as you prepare to tell him what he surely must have understood by now.

 

(It’s what you’ve been trying to show him ever since you came back and he bloodied your nose with a well-aimed headbutt.)

 

You can see yourself getting nervous and not nervous at all, because this is the last time you will ever see this man, this magnificent man and you know he wouldn’t be mad at you even if you could stick around to deal with the consequences.

 

(It’s what you’ve written into a waltz for the ones who won’t need you anymore and what you’ve spoken about at a wedding your brother knew you shouldn't attend.)

 

You can see yourself take a quick look at Mary, sweet, kind, dangerous Mary who will take good care of him, and know that she knows and doesn’t judge and doesn’t discourage.

 

(It’s what you’ve felt when you moved his chair out of the way, because you couldn’t bear to see it occupied by Janine or empty entirely.)

 

You can see yourself unable to take him by surprise as you frame his silly face with your hands, so pale in comparison.

 

(It’s what you’ve proven by accepting Mary whole-heartedly - somewhat foolishly and in the end, not foolishly at all - and by planning a reception you left early.)

 

You can see yourself unable to hide the tenderness as you lean in, just enough to let him pull away should he so choose.  

 

(It’s what you shot a man for.)

 

You can see it exactly, how it would go.

 

But in the end, you are not that cruel.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I should tell you I am extremely happy with how Season 3 panned out, I love Mary's role in all of it, and that I think - to borrow words from 'Doctor Who' - it doesn't need saying. 
> 
> Still, despite accepting that the love Sherlock canonically feels for John might be deeper than he ever expected but is also platonic, I couldn't help myself. That goodbye was a tease.


End file.
